Self help, coaches and finding one's course

As a member of eWomenNetwork, an international women's organization, I have the opportunity to receive two free coaching sessions from a list of pre-selected coaches. For two years I've debated whether or not to utilize this benefit.

My excuse is also probably my ignorance for this profession. But I always believed a coach was akin to a psychiatrist and I wasn't getting comfy on one of those couches. Besides, I always felt I could self correct without outside influences.

But I know some of the most successful women have personal coaches for various aspects of their lives. Perhaps I was wrong.

SO I finally decided to give it a try. Well, that is I made the connection with the coach. Now I have to make the appointment. I'm a little unsure of what to do. You see she asked me to tell her a little bit about myself what area I would like to concentrate on in the session: personal or professional.

When I started to respond I was like a "push me-pull you" character...every time I wrote about my personal goals I got pulled into business goals. They are not exclusive of each other.

Here's what I mean...

I’m 47 and never been married---my choice. Two years ago I entered a relationship with a great guy, but he has three children and I never wanted kids. He lived an hour away and it became increasingly difficult to travel back and forth and since he had custody of the boys, we decided I would give it a shot and move in with him and work from home. The kids love me, so there’s no issue there.

What I found after a year was that I had changed. Without my circle of influence that gave me a sense of pride and self worth, I was losing ground to the fuzzy bunny slippers/sweat suit work style and slower pace life. I knew going in that I was going to give up things to make this work, but what I realized recently is that when you give up core values and needs, everything suffers. I was spiraling downward and my relationship and my business suffered.

I gave up my home
I gave up my close proximity to my circle of influence
I gave up my music (I was a regular fan on the local blues circuit—check out http://www.marilynsmusicscene.com/ ) because what was once an hour drive to see the bands is now 2hrs.
I gave up my sense of self

But that's where the self-correcting factor kicks in. I must have unconsciously recognized that I needed to make a change because I began to resurface in the networking world. I traded my sweat suit for a dress suit (sadly a few sizes larger than I'd like) and took on the challenge of building a new chapter of eWomenNetwork in South Jersey.

But I couldn't do it alone. Thankfully, Milt and I can talk about anything. In a tear-jerker session the other day he vowed to support my "rebirth" because what is important to me is as important to him. And he means it. Like a said earlier, great guy.

So when I stayed back in Cherry Hill the other night to catch the Randy Lippincott Band at Red, Hot & Blue and then drove up to the Mermaid in Chestnut Hill later that night to see Zydeco-a-go-go, he was totally supportive. John Colgan-Davis from the Dukes of Destiny, who was at the Mermaid summed it up when he said, "the music world is all right again...Marilyn is back."

And I think I'll send the coach a link to this blog so she can decide where should I begin....